near chill, but not for long

still early enough

to have blessed chill

in the air but already

the imperious sun

demands its due attention

quiet confidence

a quietness steals over me

of confidence now that i am upright

my feet and knees stay under me

carrying me where i wish to go

but this past year has not always

been so

i’ve fallen without warning

been carried on a stretcher

to an ambulance more times

than i’ve ridden in one as caregiver

so, now when my head seems

to want to twirl or aching hurt

gathers between my eyes,

i am concerned another fall

could take me and i will once again

be unsure of me

warmth

warm sunlit morning

laughter with my kids by phone

already a beautiful day

watercolorist’s challenge clouds

 in watercolors, gray comes to life

by combining opposites

on the color wheel, such as,

green with red

orange with blue

purple with yellow

so all of the color wheel is in each gray

but the various proportions yield

varied moods and emotional responses

this morning’s tumbled layers of clouds

needed all three combinations

to reveal the temper

of each watery atmosphere

Venus, from my new perspective

A planet glows in the dawn sky

but seeming higher from the horizon

than Venus appeared

from my house on the hill

Is it Venus i am seeing

from a different perspective?

So much belief depends on where i

am standing to view

and a different foundation gives

birth to alternate—not facts—but

points of view

another hot day

haiku 

dawn pale this morning

near uniform gray-blue sky

warn again of heat

our best shot

fireworks up, up, surrounding us

with booming sound and whistles

as well as vibrant colors

and brilliant, falling light

caricaturing thunderstorms

in our puny but enjoyable

 efforts – we give it

our best shots

roads closed

our town closes its complicated

one-way streets

three times a week for street fairs

and today from eight to two

for celebratory parade

all of which are fun

but it does make me think about

going back to my rural roads

where i sometimes needed

to drive slow behind a tractor

until i could pass him on a clear

two-lane roadway    

grace is not from me

how easily my kids accept

whoever wishes to join us at table

as though all little old ladies and men

were still respected human beings

although the rest of the world

seems not to believe that

how did they grow to be such

gracious persons?

slivered cloudbank

haiku

 pale tangerine sky

slivers blue cloudbank

leaving rose-pink wound

delicate beyond hand made

carefully gouging to enlarge the hole

in the underside of the starfish corpse

one finds that what had made

the rattling noise as the starfish

was shaken are parts of the eating mechanism

of the living organism

teeth? jaw bits? but exquisite

in themselves: angels? doves?

so intricate, delicate, with tiny feathers

or gills that could not be made by

hands—only by Nature

family Alaskan joy

 haiku

laughter with family

a week of Alaskan scenes

mountains, glaciers, joy

Alaska week

home from a week’s cruise

with ten of the family

so seldom together

Alaska may never

heard such laughter

and joyful catching-up

odd night light

 odd, intense small light in the sky

in the middle of the night

at first i thought it was landing lights

on a fair-sized plane approaching

the airfield just northeast of my home

but it did not blink or move among

dense clouds and was too intense

i felt curiously chilled for a moment

and then clouds gave way a bit so

the intensity of pale yellow increased

and i recognized our moon

although little of it showed

how weird it felt had to see such color

with suspicions of something strange

in my sky

blessed and lucky me

i am the luckiest, no, the most

blessed person i know

with a wellspring of joy

i keep wandering away from

and remembering to re-find

since childhood to remember

the exquisite beauty of loving family

protective, supportive friendships

and nature’s incredibility

that i am part of, however small

my own contribution

wait for calm

emotional highs and lows during

this process of preparation, opening

for bids, inspection and repairs

mishaps and more repairs grinding

on and on to teach me to temper

the highs and anticipate the lows

so, if this morning completes

the issue, it will be a relief and joy

but i will wait and hope but not

fully believe until i have it in my hands

ah, yes

boom! and lights out

internet gone, soothing music silent

but it is morning and i can load the cart with foodstuff for the new preacher

 and my bit for the potluck for our retiring minister plus

the lively farewell plant and flowers for the serving table

and struggle to get it all to the elevator here on my seventh floor

i press the button but the door does not open – no electricity, no elevator

i call my daughter to come to take my contributions and me down

six flights of stairs i have not yet tried on my own, but first she must climb

up those stairs to me before she can help me down and out to her car

we arrive at church just after service but in time to be part of the celebration

of service to our congregation by their entire wonderful family

and yet, true to my lifestyle lately,

our new pastoral family’s moving van has not yet left Texas due to flooding

so they won’t need the fresh foods we’d just carried down those stairs

to welcome them to the parsonage

what is there to do but shrug and smile?

ah, yes

irritated

 irritated because of pain they cannot shed

and may not speak of

especially to young people,

elders have often earned the right,

if not to be honored, then at least

to be tolerated with compassion

some, even, with a hint of respect

but we would need to slow down

to listen and learn to know

being there

he reached out, came to my door

his children’s book in hand

quietly there to give and to listen

he networks so well simply by

being where you are with questions

that assume your intelligence

and insight—

            who can resist responding?

yet another

yet another and all i can do is laugh

these months of preparing for the sale

of the home my beloved built

for me with view of Cascade mountains

in the foothills of the coastal range

surrounded by trees, so forest animals

would come to graze on my lawn

or sneak-attack on voles and tiny critters

or neighbor pets—i kept finches unquietly in a cage near the window

where they could look outside

each project over the months put off by  “We can’t do that until…” and

scheduled seldom less than a week

or two in the future, or promised

and then delayed for good reason

i had no quarrel against since, over

the decades i was one who had accumulated mountains of treasure

and stuff over the decades and delayed repairs that finally needed to be done

weeks became months

until this past month when we

could all see the end approaching

until this week one final clearing

to be done on Monday and technicians

to be let in for maintenance on Thursday

ah, the anticipation of joy only a misstep

on Monday needing a contractor’s repairs and, for me, two extra dashes

to my house to let him work

yet another, and all i can do is laugh