if not through, then beside

weeping for my family

i cannot protect

i can no longer ‘kiss better’

sobbing for the pain and fear

i cannot absorb for them

knowing, remembering my own

longing to keep them from that harm

even understanding their strength

and that they must go through it alone

i can only stand beside or behind them

her daughter wants her to stay

 her hopes for the small home

she wished to buy where she’d

spent decades among friends

dashed by the inspector’s report

so many things needing repair

she could have returned to doing

but not in that run-down house

she’s made friends where she now lives

her daughter, who worked front desk

is now retired but wants her to stay

since she is only fifteen minutes away

yet the writing group is now lead

by someone who reads the work

of the vision-impaired with less

than empathy and understanding

rather than greater independence

she faces slow descent to blindness

and dependency                           

laughter and good food

sharp clang of spatula

flare of flame and bad chef jokes

Benihana set with full table

of family loving their mom

on her 30th time celebrating

her 29th birthday

still beside

a week together on the Rhine

and the family still loves each other

it must be the fascinating

juxtapositions of very old beside

so new in towns, many begun

as outlying Roman settlements

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chat over pear, hazelnut and gorgonzola salad

lunch overlooking the golf course

with beloved daughter and

creative son-in-law

always fun to be with

talking about family and boat-ramming

killer whales and wild bison unhappy

with people which reminds me

of how i feel about drivers who cut

me off in traffic

i leave for home feeling cherished

aj’s haven

a warm home

welcoming grown children

and extended family

to potluck and skilled baker’s pies

chatter, love and laughter

and our lady, newly happy

one payment, two rewards

 aching to help my independent offspring

whose pride of self and generous spirit

i would not hurt for any gain

and now i can assist by spending

what i would have at any rate

but applying it to a cost she could not pay

empty nest echoes

atop of utility pole is the empty osprey

nest of rugged, twisted branches

my offspring, too, have flown on to their own lives

but i have kept my home so filled

with the echoes of their laughter, questions and insights

a place of growth and deepening understanding

love and acceptance

                                    mjNordgren  9/28/2022  N

extensive foundation

shoulders drooping in fatigue

my daughter leans against the wall

but a small smile brightens her eyes

as her husband talks of the wedding

party now off to all their own corners

of the nation

their son and now daughter-in-law

as well as -in-love back in new york

they realize gratefully that the reception

banquet hall had been filled with people

who will support and cherish

the newlyweds for the rest

of their lives

   mjNordgren 6/26/2022 blue house, lincoln city

joyous wedding

 deep in Portland’s Rhododendron Gardens, in a clear space overlooking

ducks and Canada geese flutter-stepping to launch from still lake

a simple frame decorated with old roses, crème-white and dusty pink

witty friend officiates joyous union of grandson

and his brilliant, beautiful wife-to-be

two devoted to each other through Pomona College

and Columbia Law School

celebration supper of salmon and slides of the couple growing up

in loving families and among loyal friends

who travelled from all over this country and Europe

to be with them in their commitment to each other

and i, proud grandma, privileged to attend

                        mjNordgren  6/25/2022  Portland

what a day!

 grandson, grown up a thousand

miles away, now a high school graduate

come for his cousin’s wedding

so i get to spend a day of joy

with daughter-in-law, much-missed son

and D exploring Powell’s Books

and dining on the Washington side

of the Columbia River at Beaches

with Voo-Doo donuts for dessert

what a day!

two-and-a-half hour party

 prime time family celebration

two generations only; the next is busy

with their own lives

but we find solace in each other

venting, informing, telling tales on each other

and on ourselves

admitting our vulnerability in laughter

but knowing we are heard

love in abundance

ah, the love in abundance

in this family

generation upon generation giving in support

through tough times

traveling inconvenient miles in difficult conditions

to be there when needed

to see the hurting re-created in warmth

and laughter