tender encounter

trusting, trusted

  because if i fear betrayal, i cannot

  allow myself to be vulnerable

quiet

  because noise and foolishness detract

  from me, and even more from you

at peace

  because that blessed state only comes

  when i am still enough to listen deeply

hopeful

  because whatever action that ensues

  will – i hope – nurture all involved

fulfilling

  as i am grateful tenderness has been

  with young bobcat newly on his own

  as he stopped to look, acknowledging

            me without fear

  with the run-away patch of daisies

  in my yard as i walked away leaving

  all to the new owners and they bent

            with the wind, in promise

            to be themselves in gift

with the rocky cliff at my back

as i came to realize we are made

            of much the same elements

ill-informed actions

Oregon governor protests

that the commander in chief

is using a five-year outdated video clip

displayed on television news

to determine that Oregon needs

federal help in securing Portland

from flaming insurrection.

When the president’s use of Oregon’s National Guard is blocked

by a federal judge, our commander calls in California’s National Guard.

Where are the current president’s

daily security briefings so he is actually

aware of what is going on?

by the clock

later and later by the clock

sunrise brightens and warms

the horizon

tied as we are to the clock

it is difficult to remember

that it is we who are turning

and orbiting the sun

Friday joy

Friday evenings are becoming

traditional suppers together

here in the Gardens with news

and gossip and laughter and teasing

between daughters, grandkids

and blessed grandma to listens

with heart filled with gratitude

winter take all

winter take all

autumn has been preparing

conserving, contracting

surface area needing sunshine

bodies needing food

dropping leaves

setting up lairs for hibernation

reminding persons

of the finiteness of life

and the need to be ready

to face infinity if not strong

to embrace rebirth of spring

streaks of spider trace

draped spider trace streaks

into view in glistening broken

paths up and down the strand

as the wind lifts and shifts

it into the sun’s glorious highlighting

yellow dance of awareness

watching a yellow leaf detach

dance, swirl, drift and pirouette

celebrating autumn and reminding

me of the passage of time

mindful of the finiteness of life

its dreams, deeds done and not done

of shoulds and failures, of judgement

and self-castigation, of pride – foolish, or earned and quietly smiled upon

good feeling or ache of disappointment

as i measure myself against

what i hoped and what i’ve done

to discover who i am

to learn acceptance of others

and, finally, forgiveness of self

father in autumn

autumn leaves swirl

pushing forward the clock

as we remark passing seasons

but also reminding me of childhood

privilege of diving into the pile of leaves

laboriously raked by wearied father

who smiled, nonetheless,

to hear our laughter

back seat non-driver

in the back seat of my brother’s car

i, who nearly always am the driver,

got to peer up between stands of trees

and along the hilltop to the low

mountains layered behind them

trace the curves of tractor furrows

where the farmer followed

the contours of his land

all the delights a driver may not

allow her focus to remain on

as she steers from town

through wooded corridors

and farm communities

on the way to foggy coast

how i love my brother and sister (-in-law and -in-love)

who have always quietly done for me

things i could not do for myself

hours of joy

hours laughing with my daughters

as they settle technical issues

with phone and computer

so i can putter in peace and safety

but it is their presence that

gives me greatest joy

september dawn

haiku

glorious progression

pale blush to fiery auburn

streak intense blue clouds

Rice Museum of Rocks and Minerals

 a dozen of us with canes and walkers

visited the Rice Museum of rocks and minerals, awed by the cut and polished

surfaces of gray-brown lumps someone was curious enough to discover

contained layers, colors, streaks, blotches of exquisite beauty

punctuate

it’s national punctuation day

and time to take a look at what

a period or a comma can do

to keep me out

of trouble…

or not

sun-chosen

haiku

pale aqua-gray dawn

blossoms into sunshine warmth

sun-chosen parade

messy birds

messy birds, flinging birdseed

over the deck floor from the translucent

suction-cupped feeder on my window

i sweep and try to gather up the bits

between the metal ridges, sighing,

but not regretting the glorious spread

of their wings as they land

on the narrow ledge to dip and pick

my privilege to watch them ungrateful

but happy to feed amid all our man-

made changes to their natural world

seeing stars

i do see stars from this home finally

for months, now, the light pollution

and industrial smoke plus Oregon mist clouds have colored my night sky

blocking all but insistent planets

until early this morning – not much

past midnight – faint stars beckoned

and the shoulders and dim belt –

but no dagger - of Orion

so glad to see heaven’s lights

but sad to remember just decades

ago when the Milky Way was a bright

path above, paralleling my driveway

again, an ambulance

again, the ambulance at the front door

with firemen and paramedics wheeling

a gurney with one of our friends

out for a trip to the hospital

it is so hard to watch, even though

grateful for the prompt and thoughtful

response

we are so vulnerable; it is why we are

in senior living

the close, caring friendships

that develop here are precious

celebrating getting old

stretching the celebration

from a day to a full week

with a surprise outing to tea

tasting at the Chinese Gardens

to card after birthday card

to sharing supper and bringing

dozens of cupcakes to share

with all in the dining room

to precious blue earrings

to enormous collections

of favorite flowers

to joyful words on the phone

with those far away whom

i hold dear

it may, then, be worth it

to be getting older

respect and reflect

quiet, please

time to think before answering

a moment to hear and take in

what is actually being said

to be able to respond

rather than react

listening is so difficult

without moments to reflect

and respect

L moves back

homesick for my own chair

looking out my window at neighbors

who come to check if my blinds

are not open by nine in the morning

homesick for my own cooking

though the crabcakes here are delicious

homesick for coffee in my own mug

as I read my Arizona newspaper

homesick for the warmth that keeps me

from shivering day and night though

my room here is warm

it is fine here

but I am ninety

I want to die at home